Is There a Pill for That?

By Gordon Hopkins So I was watching TV last night and I saw one of those drug commercials. This ad for some little miracle pill showed various smiling people of a certain age (aka old) in various scenes of various activities, like walking, jogging, and playing tennis. The stern yet soothing voice of the announcer assured me this little miracle pill could change my life. The stern yet soothing voice then warned me to stop taking the little miracle pill should I develop any of the following:Headaches,Nausea,Depression,Anxiety,Heart palpitations,Swollen feet,Swollen hands,Swollen head,Pimples,Boils,Deja vu,Arachnophobia,Extra Limbs,High Blood Pressure,Low Blood Pressure,No Blood Pressure,Tunnel Vision,Double Vision,WandaVision,Scarlet fever,Yellow fever,Jungle fever,Boogie feveror scurvy. I listened to this list and thought whatever this little miracle pill is supposed to cure, it can't possibly be as bad as all the side effects. Then I realized I had no idea what disease or condition this little miracle pill is actually supposed to treat. This has been happening a lot, lately. Drug commercials have been around for decades but that stern yet soothing voice used to tell the viewers what the drug was actually for. Recently, drug commercials have started advertising little miracle pills without any real indication of what they do, unless they are being so subtle that I am completely missing it. Those commercials usually end with a stern yet soothing voice advising the viewers, “Ask your doctor if the little miracle pill is right for you.” How is that conversation going to go if I don't know what the pill does?Me: “So, Doc, is the little miracle pill is right for me?Doctor: “Well, since it treats menstrual cramps and you're a dude, I'm gonna say probably not.” So, what is going on here? Has targeted marketing gotten so targeted that advertisers now just assume anyone watching their commercials will want their product or has marketing become so subtle that it is now going over most people's heads? There was a time when marketing was about telling an audience about a product and why that audience might want one. The problem is that people don't like to sit through commercials. So, marketers have to figure out more and more creative ways of grabbing people's attention before they have a chance to change the channel. Is it just possible that marketers have become so obsessed with grabbing people's attention that they forget what to do with it once they get it? That's a bitter pill to swallow.

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