More, Please

By Gordon Hopkins It is the first week of October. That means I intend to eschew my normally informative columns about those things our readers really want to know, like what my cats had for breakfast, and instead indulge in my love for the spooky season.The deluge of scary movies is a highlight of the Halloween season. Of course, as a crotchety old grouch, it is my job to grumble about how terrible everything is and how much better things were (creaky old man voice) “Back in my day.”Fortunately, I did a search for some new and upcoming horror movies and they make that job very easy.There are, of course, the latest installments of franchises that have long since worn out their welcome, like “Saw 10” and “Terrifier 3.” No great shock there. It is part of Hollywood's business plan to find something that is a tiny bit successful and milk it until it has lost all charm and originality and audiences are completely sick if it.It's a bit like taking small amounts of poison over time to build up an immunity. Pretty soon, you are immune to whatever appeal said franchise may have once held.This is not a new thing for Hollywood, though I must say, in recent years, they have seriously ramped up the process. Do you realize, at one point, there were five “Star Trek” series on TV at the same time? That is bonkers.Some titles of those upcoming horror movies stand out to me as especially egregious, like “Pet Semetary: Bloodlines,” and “The Exorcist: Believer.”Some horror properties easily lend themselves to franchise status. Others do not. “Pet Semetary” and “The Exorcist” are most assuredly in the latter category.Hollywood, it seems, is now determined to make EVERYTHING a franchise.Now, lets get something straight. I grew up on “Creature Feature,” which showed me the original “Frankenstein” movies and “Dracula” movies and “Godzilla” movies, though not in order. So, I am fine with franchises. If I like a movie monster, I probably want to see more movies about that monster.Honestly, though, some movies just ain't got no business being more than one.Other movies, however, definitely could, perhaps even should, be franchises. So here are a few suggestions from me for potential franchises. I'm not saying these are especially great movies, though some clearly are. I'm just saying they could use a few sequels.Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter (1974): In the waning days of Britain's venerable Hammer Films, the studio that re-energized the great horror franchise characters, like “Dracula” and “The Mummy,” was struggling against the rise of the slashers. “Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter” came out the same year as “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.”Hammer's glorious technicolor vampires usually faced off against pious and pompous vampire hunters, most notably Peter Cushing's Van Helsing. Captain Kronos, on the other hand, was a good, old-fashioned swashbuckler, battling the undead with a sword and getting bizzay with Caroline Munro. It is hard to imaging Cushing's studious Van Helsing carrying on a romance with anyone, least of all Stella Star.The screenplay was by Brian Clemens, creator of “The Avengers” (Steed and Mrs. Peel, not Iron Man and Black Window) and was clearly intended to be the first of a series. Alas, the studio's financial troubles at the time put the kibosh on any future Kronos adventures.With the recent resurrection of Hammer Film, perhaps the time is right for a new film.Shock Waves (1977): Easily the best Nazi zombie flick ever produced (which ain't saying much-It's a bit like being the least arrogant Baldwin brother), this was a super low budget production that is way better than it has any business being. Part of that is due to the presence of horror icons John Carradine and Peter Cushing, each of whom worked just four days during production. Yet, it seems like they dominate the picture because they producers spaced their scenes throughout the movie, Carradine in the front half and Cushing in the back. In addition, much of the film takes place at the beautiful Biltmore Hotel, Coral Gables, Florida, which was abandoned at the time. It would have cost millions to create a comparable set.The plot is simple. A group of vacationers are shipwrecked on a island with a bunch of zombies left over from a Nazi experiment to create unkillable super soldiers, the Death Corps, with Cushing as their Nazi handler.So how does this spawn any sequels? Cushing's character gives the explanation in the all-important exposition scene. Nazi scientists adapted their zombies to different, extreme environments, like the desert or the cold. Cushing's own squad was designed to fight under water.One could easily see hapless innocents stumbling across other Death Corps squads, like the Antarctic (“Shock Waves 2: Cold War”) or a Middle Eastern desert (“Shock Waves 3: Heatwave).The Monster Squad (1987): Why has there not already been a sequel to this story of a teenage monster fan club that ends up meeting the real Universal Monsters (Frankenstein's monster, Dracula, the Mummy, the Wolf Man, the Creature form the Black Lagoon)?A remake has been in the works for a number of years but apparently recently fell apart.I say, “Good.” I don't want a remake. I want a sequel. Don't put the squad against the same monsters. Why not put the Monster Squad up against the slashers? (Freddy, Jason, Mike Meyers, Chucky, etc.)Frankenstein Unbound (1990): Directed by the legendary Roger Corman with an actual budget for a change, this is the story of a scientist (played John Hurt) who travels back in time and meets both “Frankenstein” author Mary Shelley and her creation, Dr. Frankenstein (played by Raul Julia).This is one of those movies I would have said absolutely does NOT need a sequel. Brian Aldiss, the writer of the novel the movie was based on, disagreed and published “Dracula Unboud.”

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