Old Tools Never Die, They Just Disappear

Denise Anderson First Published September 27, 1996Where was my circular saw?I knew it was in the basement where months ago. It wasn't there now. That's not surprising at our house, since most circular saw use is out in the shop.I wandered out there, but still couldn't find it. Still, I had a chore to do and I needed it. Maybe I could borrow one from the neighbors.Alvin wasn't home, but his wife Mabel was. She was happy to lend me a saw. Unfortunately, it wasn't on the back porch where it was supposed to be.“Alvin probably took it out to the shop,” she said, “But it's no problem.”She went to her cleaning closet and opened the door.“Hmmm,” she said, “Which one would you like?”I stood there with my mouth open. That woman had three - I counted again - brand spanking new circular saws in that closet, all still in the box. There were also two electric drills, four rechargable screwdrivers, a half-dozen flashlights and a case of pliers.She pulled one out.“You see, dear, I've been married longer than you,' she said. “One of these days you'll get tired of having things taken and never returned, never having the tool you need when you want it. I finally solved my problem and you can bet Alvin would never think to look in here.”She was probably right, but what I've never figured out is what happens to these things.“Well, let me show you,” Mabel said as we walked outside. “It's not that farmers simply lose these things, they generally break them too.”We had arrived at an old dilapidated shed attached to the shop. Mabel marched right past it and peered around the corner.“Look here,” she said. “It's a tool graveyard.”Sure enough, there, in the weeds and the grass, was a pile of dead circular saws, some with rusty blades, some with frayed cords. We looked a little closer and found a couple of electric drills, several bent pliers and dehandled hammers and screwdrivers.“He thinks he's going to need parts for another tool someday, so he keeps these around,” Mabel said. “Trust me, he'll never use them.”I was quiet as we trudged back to the house. I was quiet as I drove back home, the saw sitting in the passenger seat. All I could think about was that tool graveyard. I bet I have one too, I just don't know where it's at.

Frederic Wrigley

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