Scratch and Sniff

By Gordon Hopkins So I talked briefly to a fellow recently who expressed disappointment that my column last week wasn't about my cats.“You know, there's an awful lot going on in the world right now,” I protested. “Important stuff. Every single thing I write can't be about my cats.”So, anyway, here's what's going on with my cats.Regular readers of this column may recall a while back that one of my cats got sick. He is fine now but it makes me a bit overcautious when it comes to any sign that one of my cats may be ill. For example, the other day I was sitting on the couch after a hard day of whatever it is I do. Harper, (the new cat) was draped across my lap and I was absently scratching his neck and wondering why I was watching whatever stupid thing on TV I was watching. I suddenly became aware of a small, round, hard bump on his neck.My imagination immediately went into overdrive. What could it be? I could only think of two possibilities. Best case scenario: it was some sort of abscess, possibly infected. (Is that redundant? Are all abscesses infected by definition? I don't know. I'm not a med student). Worst case scenario: the big “C.” Did my cat have a tumor on his neck?Then I realized that bump I was feeling was the bell on his collar.Anyway, things have not been exactly smooth sailing with the new cat. I have had Archie (the orange cat) and Groucho (the black cat) since they were little and they've never been around other cats before. They are not taking kindly to this interloper. There is little in the way of actual violence, beyond bopping each other on the heads, but there is a lot of hissing and growling and dramatic standoffs.Still the stress of a new animal, or any kind of stress for that matter, can wreak havoc on a kitty's health.For such hard-scrabble, tough little predators, cats seem to have remarkably delicate constitutions. It doesn't take much to mess up their equilibrium.So Groucho began to develop a runny nose. It wasn't so bad at first, just a bit of sniffing and dripping, but it got noticeably worse as time progressed. It was concerning. It was also disgusting. Have you ever been sneezed on by a cat? Have you ever tried to get a cat to blow his nose? It can't be done.I started to get worried. Do cats get colds? Do cats get the flu? Do cats get hay fever?So I took him to the vet. Do you know what my vet told me? Groucho's excessively running nose was probably a reaction to the new cat.So my cat is allergic to my other cat?Well, not literally allergic. It's just stress-induced. The vet assured me it would get better as things calmed down around the house and my cats got used to each other.Probably.The vet did make a suggestion that might help improve the moods of my cats. He suggested a diffuser. It is a thing that you plug into an electrical outlet, kind of like those plug-in air fresheners. Only, instead of the scent of lilacs in springtime (or whatever), it fills the air with cat calming pheromones.It's all very scientific, or so they tell me.I gave it a shot. I bought a couple, plugged them in and hoped for the best. I was warned the effects wouldn't be instant. It could take a few days.So did it work? Or was it making things worse?I came home one day after work and noticed Archie's nose was wet. Great. Now I have two cats with the sniffles?Actually, no. I looked and realized Archie had a bloody nose.Now, Harper is smaller that the other cats but he's made it clear he won't take no guff. I haven't actually seen him start any trouble but when the other cats get in his face, he doesn't back down. So it is tempting to assume Archie and Harper got into it while I was at work and the orange boy got the short end of the stick.Only, I don't know that for sure. I have noticed that when Groucho gets mad at Harper and can't get any satisfaction, he then sometimes goes and picks a fight with his bigger, orange brother. Usually, Archie will just stare at him, as if to say, “What are you mad at me for?” But not always.Okay, I have a house with three tom cats. It's like living with three teenagers. Fights are going to happen on occasion. There is no way around it. All you can do is try and diffuse the situation as best you can.Speaking of which, I'm not sure if it's the diffuser or the cats are just getting used to each other's presence, but things have calmed down around my house a bit. The cats aren't exactly pals but they seem to be tolerating each other more. Groucho's nose has dried up and Archie's nose has healed. They may never become buddies but I remain hopeful that they will be happy with the living situation.As an irrelevant aside, I will note that, the other morning, I woke up and discovered something small and hard and crusty in my bed. It was Archie's nose scab.

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