The Doctor Gets His Due

By Gordon Hopkins John Jones, aka Dr. San Guinary, the green-faced, bad pun spouting host of “Creature Feature,” which debuted in Omaha on KMTV back in 1971, will be inducted into “The Official Horror Host Hall of Fame” this September at the Horror Hound convention in Cincinnati, Ohio.This accolade, well-deserved as it is, was a long time coming.In the seventies and early eighties, horror movie hosts were all the rage. It seems every major city had one to call their own. Chicago had Zacherly and Svengoolie. Nashville had Sir Cecil Creape. Philadelphia had Dr. Shock. The shtick was always the same: some character in faux-scary makeup standing in front of a cardboard cemetery or mad doctor's laboratory would introduce old horror movies with a liberal portion of bad jokes and painful puns. Some of the movies shown were classics like “Frankenstein” or “King Kong” and others not so much, such as “Attack of The Mushroom People.” Yes, that's a real movie. These shows were really throwbacks to radio days, when spooky voices would introduce tales of terror on programs like “Suspense” and “Inner Sanctum.”The best known of these hosts is probably Elvira. Most horror hosts remained unknown outside their local markets. Elvira, on the other hand, became internationally famous. Cassandra Peterson, who plays the trashy ghoul, pretty much lifted her act in its entirety from an earlier host, Vampira, including the tight-waisted, Morticia Addams gown and double entendres. Vampira (Alias Maila Nurmi) was understandably bitter about Elvira's success, going so far as to call Ms. Peterson a “burglar.” Elvira did have one advantage over her predecessor. Vampira's show was shot live in the fifties. It spilled out of people's televisions and then was gone. Almost no recordings exist. Elvira's shot to fame during the home video cassette revolution.So, what about Dr. San Guinary? Few people outside Nebraska have probably heard of him. Within our borders, he wasn't just a local celebrity. He was a rock star. “Creature Feature” ran on KMTV Omaha from 1971 to 1982.The Mad Doctor was a green faced ghoul with a dingy (cardboard) laboratory and a sidekick named Igor, a hairy hand reaching out from a cage. The hand was all you ever saw. He had a growl/roar that sounded suspiciously like the growl/roar the monster in the pit used to make in the old Sid and Marty Krofft Saturday morning kids show, “Land of the Lost.” In the 1970's, certain sound effects were regularly reused in cheapie TV shows, so it may very well have come from the same tape.I loved “Creature Feature” and caught it every Saturday night. I still have fond memories of San Guinary's antics, even when the movies themselves weren't very memorable (“Space Amoeba”).The opening credits featured screams and howling winds and clanking chains and a shot of an old, dark house atop of a spooky hill. I begged my parents to take me to that house but they never did. Somehow, I never caught on that the old, dark house was actually a really unconvincing model.My parents actually knew John Jones, the man behind the green makeup. They owned a bar back in those days and the mad doctor put in an appearance every once in a while. Not too often. There was a bar closer to the KMTV station that most network employees preferred to frequent.Chris Palmer, the man who currently dons the green face-paint and bloody lab coat of the mad doctor, will be presenting a short video after the convention which, according to Palmer, “the 4-minute informative and entertaining video mostly covering Jones' unique utilization of his character for charity work, which as you all know, set him miles apart from others horror hosts as it was mostly kiddie cartoon hosts who were involved with the MDA carnival kit program and telethon efforts. John's reshaping of the carnival kit into the Spookarama Kit was genius and it was utilized by two other horror hosts involved with the MDA at that time.”The Horror Host Hall of Fame has been inducting members since 2011. It took a while, but I’m glad to hear the good (mad) doctor will finally get his due.

Rondi G. Chapman Nickeson

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