Kill Two Stones With One Bird

By Gordon Hopkins Didja ever go rummaging through a kitchen drawer, or maybe your handbag or briefcase or backpack, looking for something very specific, and after a while you realize you've forgotten whatever it was you were looking for? I've done that several times in the past few weeks and I always do the same thing. I keep looking in the hopes that I'll stumble across whatever it was I was looking for and it will remind me what it was I was looking for.So far, that has yet to work, but I keep trying. I did, however, find something in that drawer recently that reminded me of something else I had forgotten. It was a postcard. I have no idea why it was in that drawer. I had intended to put it on my fridge. I don't know why I hadn't done it. The postcard is from a guy I will call Rod. I call him that because that is his name. The postcard features a photo of my favorite writer, Harlan Ellison. Apparently, Rod reads my column and is aware of my love of all things Harlan. He is also aware of my love of manual typewriters, which is presumably why he sent me a very nice photo of Harlan Ellison tapping away on one of his many Olympia SM9 portable typewriters. Apparently, Mr. Ellison had a substantial stockpile of typewriters. I don't know how many he owned but I once saw a documentary about him called “Dreams with Sharp Teeth” and I counted at least 16.But that's not the point. The point is, Rod sent me a very nice photo and I completely forgot to send him a thank you letter. Okay, that's not quite accurate. I frequently remembered that I needed to send him a thank you letter but then never got around to it. Over time, the frequency of me suddenly thinking to myself, “Dang! I still haven't sent Rod that thank you,” diminished, until I hardly thought about it at all. That was a bit of a relief because the guilt over not getting around to sending the letter…well, it wasn't exactly keeping be up an nights but it was there. Not enough that I ever actually got around to sending the letter but, still…Anyway, then I got this postcard and the cycle started all over again. The postmark was April 3 of this year, and once again, I still haven't sent a thank you letter or card or even an email. Thank you letters are a lost art and I'm not sure anyone even expects them, anymore. I don't know when they went out of fashion. Probably when email developed the ability to send automated responses. The more polite machines become, the ruder human beings become.To be fair, I'm a busy guy. I got a lot on my mind. For example, I have to come up with a new idea for a column every Friday morning. I think you see where I'm going with this. After all, he does read my column.So, thank you, Rod, for the goodies and I'm sorry I'm so late with this thank you.

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