My Robot Ate My Homework

By Gordon Hopkins As AI (Artificial Intelligence) becomes inescapable, more and more businesses and institutions are having to enact an AI policy.Here at the paper, our policy is pretty straight forward. As you can see on our staff box, “100 Percent AI Free!”We don’t use AI to write stories. ANY STORIES. It is okay to use AI for some things. Personally, I only use AI to transcribe recordings of interviews and school board meetings. It does, indeed, save me time, as those who tout the value of AI tell us. However, I still listen to the recordings to make certain the transcription is correct. It is never 100 percent correct. I always have to make some corrections. That is why newspapers have no business using AI to write stories.FYI: The AI I use for transcription clearly is not Jewish, as it keeps wanting to change “Tchotchke” to Chachi. AI doesn’t know Yiddish but it knows Fonzie’s cousin? Anyway, schools in particular are needing to set AI policies to ensure students aren’t using AI to avoid school work. Kids today need to finish their school work the same way I did when I was a student: pay the smart kid to do it.So, I’ve been looking into what schools are doing about AI. I found what I believe to be the new plus ultra of AI policies, as created by UNL Professor Amanda Gailey.For those who think I’m kidding, this is real: AI POLICY: SPRING 2026AI is a corporate product designed to make you docile, dependent, and stupid.AI wants you to get in its habit.Every time you use AI to read for you, think for you, or speak for you, it makes you a little less able and willing to read, think, and speak for yourself.AI wants you to think that all of your questions have an easy answer from an authority. And that AI is the authority.AI is a technology of fraud. It stole the work of humans to counterfeit it, and it seduces you into doing the same—lying and misrepresenting yourself to others. AI rots human interactions with deception and inauthenticity and robs you of connection and competence. AI is a bt machine.AI wants you to like it more than you like other people.AI wants other people to like it more than they like you.AI wants you to like AI more than you like yourself, and the more you turn to its friendly advice, its sycophantic encouragement, and its effortless products you can claim as your own, the more your competence shrivels, and the more you will like it more than yourself.AI is boring and uninventive, and the more you use it the more you start to think all your own wildness and messiness is a liability instead of the very vital flux that surges and ebbs in human veins and makes life glorious.You were born to be a chickpea vindaloo or an overfilled, drippy taco and AI is a white-bread PBJ that thinks Wonderbread crust is too chewy and making a sandwich is too much work. Keep letting it pose as you, and eventually AI will convince you that you are an unsightly mess that drips curry or birria down everyone’s shirts and that you aren’t as good as an Uncrustables that people can gum neatly and with no effort. And so you ask it to turn you into a boneless nugget and tater tots.AI doesn’t really want any of this because AI doesn’t want. AI is a corporate product that does what an amoral tech billionaire wants.AI is a repulsive affront to everything I value as a teacher and as a human. I hope it’s as offensive to you.Read the books yourself, think your own thoughts, make your own mistakes, use your own words, and let the humanity creak, groan, snap, and sometimes electrify you. That’s learning. That’s what it is to be human. I would like to thank Professor Gailey, partly for articulating what I believe to be the most accurate description of AI ever written but mostly for letting me use her policy, so I didn’t have to write so much this week. And remember, kids. Don’t let robots do your homework.

City Of Fairbury Seeks Public Input For Newly Acquired Property

Fairbury Man Previously Sentenced for Two Felonies Now Charged with Multiple Misdemeanors

Related Articles

Are Marshmallow Peeps the New Pumpkin Spice?

Again

Time Marches On (But I Don’t)

The Year of the Fire Horse