Now Open for Business

By Gordon Hopkins Newspapers are in trouble. That is not news. (See what I did there?)The internet has cut deep into both advertising revenue and the actual dissemination of information to a public increasingly seeking out stories that confirm an already established worldview, with little, if any, consideration of accuracy.Yet, many people still want to read about what is actually going on in the world, in the country, in their community, and want to do so without concern that they are being lied to. Those people depend on newspapers.Despite the value of newspapers and the important role we play in keeping the world informed, we would be sticking our heads in the sand not to acknowledge the threat we currently face.Like any business facing a changing market and financial downturn, we must diversify in order to survive. We must find alternative revenue streams to stay afloat.That is why I am excited to announced a brand new business venture.I got the idea after a recent story about our neighbor to the south. The Kansas Court computer system has been down all week after a cyberattack. Lawyers can no longer file electronically. Defendants can no longer pay their fines by credit card. Electronic records are no longer available.Yet, the wheels of justice have not ground to a halt. They still turn. Perhaps a bit slower and less efficiently, but they still turn. To keep those wheels turning the Kansas Supreme Court ordered that the courts would have to start using paper files. All court filings would now have to be done on paper.It may be something of a culture chock for Millennials and Generation Z and whatever other weird labels people born after the turn of the century are being called. But for those of us with a few extra miles on the odometer, we remember what it was like. At one time, every interaction with our government was documented with a piece of paper.Imagine going back to filling out government forms by hand. I have. Even the simplest misdemeanor can produce dozens and dozens of pages. The thought of government employees spending the day, all day, scratching away with pen on paper makes my knuckles ache.They may not have their precious computers, but there is still a way to make the job of filling out government forms faster and more efficient.Yeah, if you've read my column before, you probably see where I'm going with this.T Y P E W R I T E R SYes, there is still clearly a need for typewriters in this world. Yet, almost no government office still has even one working typewriter.That's where I come in. Yes, I have a substantial collection of vintage typewriters. They are beautiful and functional but I can only type on one at a time. Is there another way I can make them work for me? There sure is.My new business venture: Gordon's Typewriter Rental.Whether a Russia-backed cybercriminal conglomerate or merely a bored teenager in a basement, the world is filled with hackers determined to take down your computer systems. It happened to Kansas and it can happen to you, too.Don't let your business, or your state, grind to a halt just because your computers have been taken hostage. Come on down to Gordon's Typewriter Rental and I'll get you a great deal.And remember, paper and ink can't be hacked.

Football

Fairbury Woman Pleads Not Guilty to Multiple Assaults

Related Articles

Are Marshmallow Peeps the New Pumpkin Spice?

Again

Time Marches On (But I Don’t)

The Year of the Fire Horse