The Cat’s Meow (Prohibited by Law)

By Gordon Hoppkins I do love a nice train ride. I’ve ridden trains across the Midwest and across the Far East. It is such an intoxicating way to travel. Plus, it makes a way better story than, “Took the bus to Sheboygan.”To date, I’ve never had the chance to take a train through Europe, though it remains one of my dreams. Can’t you just imagine sitting back and watching the quaint villages and lush pastures of the French countryside go by, accompanied by the clickety-clack sound of wheels on century-old metal rails?A young woman recently got to do just that when she took the two-and-a-half-hour journey via rail from Vannes, a 2,000-year-old commune in northwestern France to the City of Lights, Paris.Unfortunately, her grand journey ended up being marred by her choice of traveling companion, Monet. No, not the impressionist landscape painter, who probably wouldn’t be great company anyway since he’s been dead since 1926. I’m talking about the lady’s cat, Monet. Thanks to Monet, the young lady was fined €110. That’s approximately $128 in U.S. dollars per today’s exchange rate.She wasn’t fined for having a cat. Indeed, she paid a ticket for little Monet. No, she was fined because her cat meowed.Apparently, cats are allowed on France’s public transit system only as long as they don’t do that one thing all cats do.It’s a bit like saying you can bring a fish on a train as long as it doesn’t breathe underwater.Other passengers complained about the noise. Keep in mind, this happened ON A TRAIN, one of the noisiest forms of travel there is. As you know, I am something of a fan of cats, so I disapprove of all forms of cat discrimination. However, what truly goes against the grain as far as I am concerned is not punishing the lady for not keeping her cat quiet, a patently impossible task as anyone who has ever had a cat knows. No, it is the Orwellian doublespeak the rail operator used to justify its decision. According to a statement given to the French news outlet BMF, the fine was not issued because the cat was meowing but because of complaints and tensions with other passengers caused by the noises made by the pet.That almost seems to be an admission that it was the cat that wasn’t the problem, the passengers were the problem. My first thought was, “so fine the complaining passengers instead.” Then it occurred to me, that might not be such a bad idea at that. I think stiff fines for people complaining about stupid stuff is a policy that should be adopted by everyone. Imagine if you had to pay to complain?Clearly you would choose your complaints wisely.Tell me that people only complaining about truly serious matters and not endlessly whining about each and every little irritant wouldn’t make the world a better place?

Timothy James Torrey

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